There is nothing as embarrassing as being ignorantly confident in error. You may have, on one or two instances, be posing off with some words/phrases, not knowing you’re deep in the pool of mistake; they’re non-existing phrases.

There could make you fell terribly bad after crafting out a ‘beautiful’ post around an idea.

Embarrassing? Jaw-dropping ? You do the job. Use whatever words suits you, my dear. You’re at liberty!

After observing conversations and reading through piles of texts, I found out that you, like many others, could have used these wrong, rather non-existing phrases:

Plumby:

Chances are that you’ve used this word to paint your friend who has some lump of flesh attached to his frame. Maybe I would forgive you because it is “Nigerian English.”

There is no need adding “y” to plumb when referring to that friend who has some fleshy meat glued to his bony structure.

Wrong: George’s girlfriend’s not plumby.

Right: George’s girlfriend’s not chubby/plumb.

Complimentary Card

“I’ll send give him my complimentary card“. That’s a wrong way to tell someone you’ll give him your BUSINESS CARD.

If you use complimentary, it means that you’re giving out a free copy of your product.

That informs why you have “COMPLIMENTARY COPY,” used as a promotional device by intellectual property owners.

Wrong: I gave Uche my complimentary card.

Right: I gave Uche my business card.

Delta citizen/indigenes

This one has been popularised by the media but some principalities in high places say that “indigene” is not an English word.

I was wondering, when I read “Delta citizens” in the news the other time, if my state had finally gotten independence and became a country.

Never say: “Delta citizens” since Delta is not a country or Delta indigenes.

Wrong: Delta state indigenes/citizens have been largely peaceful amidst the economic Kung Fu.

Right: Delta state natives have been largely peaceful amidst the economic Kung Fu.

Poke Nose

I know you used to tell your neighbour not to poke nose into your affairs again. But unku, it’s actually poke your nose into your affairs.

Wrong: Stop poke nosing into my affairs, biko!

Right: Don’t poke your nose into my affairs, e jor!

Luxurious Bus

Trust me, I heard and used this confidently while growing up until the scales fell off my eyes.

Nigerians use it to describe a large bus which can take in more persons than the normal bus.

Wrong: I took a luxurious Bus to Ikeja on Saturday.

Right: I took a luxury bus to Ikeja today.

Comity of Nation

If you’re a politically inclined person, you know that this is used in reference to the gathering of nations.

However, that is a wrong judgement of the phrase. Comity of nation is the respect countries have for one another.

Wrong: Nigeria is envied in the comity of nations.

Right: Nigeria is envied in the community of nations.

Barbing Salon.

No much talk on this as there is no word as “barbing” in that context.

Wrong: I went to the barbing salon.

Right: I went to the hair salon.

Screen touch

In this digital age, you may have been guilty of using it to describe a mobile device that responds to touch.

However, that’s wrong. See how to use it:

Wrong: My phone is a screen touch.

Right: My phone is touch screen.

You can add yours with the comment box below.

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