I am worried at the reality that so many marriages are falling apart… right under our noses. If we can’t talk about the hard things, we’ll never be able to overcome them.

If you find yourself struggling within a difficult marriage today, it’s time to move toward healing by taking the following important steps:

1. Pray

No matter who you marry, there’s a good chance that you will one day wonder if you made the right choice. If you’ve hit that point – you need to pray like crazy. If you haven’t hit that point – you, too, need to pray like crazy.

If I only knew back then what I know now, I would have been praying for my marriage since I was a small child. We need to cover every ounce of our marriage and every inch of our spouses in prayer. Every day. All the time. Because we are not fighting against flesh and blood! We never were.

We’re fighting against the unseen darkness, that wants to destroy our marriages the second our guards are down. But through Christ, we can overcome.

Through Christ, we have the strength and courage we need to not only fight the battle – but to WIN the battle. Clothe yourself with your spiritual armor, and pray your heart out for your marriage and your family every single day.

We serve a God who is able to do immeasurably more than we could ever ask or imagine… and I found myself today crying out to my God for the sake of the broken marriages in my church and community, in my country and world.

2. Share

Far too many people are dealing with really hard things, but they’re dealing with them completely alone.

Due to the stigma that often comes with “marriage problems” within the church, we don’t often want to share about the struggle until it’s too late – until the harmful roots have dug so deep that they’ve caused devastation in our marriages.

It’s time for us to break this deadly stigma, and begin to speak up!

I challenge you to find someone who cares, and share with them your struggle. Find someone you trust, and invite them into your marriage journey. Then, get enrolled in professional Christian counseling TODAY. Right now. Today. Make the call. Find someone who specializes in marriage issues and start the journey.

It’s worth every hour and worth every penny. Begin the journey of healing. Even if you have so start the journey standing alone. It’s not an instant-fix. It’s a life journey. But it can only begin if you’re willing to bring the problems to the surface… because it is only when things are brought to the light that they can be healed.

3. Learn

Marriage is a lifelong process of learning, changing, growing, and adapting. We are all a work in progress, and because of that, so is our marriage.

I owe the health of my marriage to two things: God’s unrelenting grace and mercy first and foremost, and secondly, the authors, mentors, teachers, and speakers who have spoken wisdom into my life every step of the way. We are so ill-prepared for marriage in the Church.

Marriage is THE ONLY thing in life in which you get a license to do, before you’ve actually learned how to do it. You HAVE TO LEARN ALONG THE WAY if you want to have any chance of succeeding at this thing called marriage. I find that very concerning.

For this very reason, I felt led to tackle some of the harder, yet hopeful, conversations about marriage.

4. Where is Your Marriage Today?

I pray that God would give you a renewed sense of hope to take the necessary steps, and that you would allow yourself to believe that God is able to restore and redeem you and your marriage, from the inside-out.

If you find yourself in a thriving marriage, I pray that God would give you a renewed sense of urgency to protect it with everything you’ve got.

[written by Debra Fileta]

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