Pls can u send me dragnet and gmat interview questions.
My mail is [email protected]
Thanks

I was at the bank this morning to withdraw some cash, and patiently i have been waiting for over an hour cause we were told that there is bad network, though i met an old man tiredly sitted and he was even there before i came...
A few minutes to 10am, the old man stood up and came to me, good morning sir, i said when he tapped me from behind and he replied the same in a soft voice....
Oldman: pls, my daughter, why are we still here since 8am?
Me: sir, we are waiting for the Network!!!!
Oldman: oh! He is still not here!!!! too bad...!!!!!!...
Me: yes sir.. !!! Too bad!!!!
Oldman: why is he late? (He said to himself...) maybe he visited the head office??....
Damn, everyone kept quiet,
But after a while he asked me again....
Oldman: pls, my daughter, how come the network works here and I have never seen him since i began banking here from 1978 till date......
Immediately the cashier at the left conner fainted while everyone bursted into laughter....!!!!!!!! Lolzzzzzz

I was watching one American film yesterday night with my Dad and
Mum, as we were watching the film, a young boy of my age started
romancing his girlfriend, they kissed each other and when the guy's
hand crossed the girl's private part, I looked straight at my dad and
noticed that his eyes had changed, then I focused my eyes more on
the film even though I knew my dad wanted me to leave the parlour at
once, I did not care. They were still kissing, this time hotter, then
they both fell on the bed and the guy was about to open the girl's
brazier.
My Dad looked at me with his red eyes and shouted "have you ironed
the car? I was like " yes i even put starch"

A girl at a bus stop spotted a handsome man and without hesitation went to him and said
" you look cute.. I like you."....
The man out of shock simply placed his hand on her shoulder and said
"My dear, this love and infatuation are all nothing. You are too young to be behaving like this. Pls go home and study hard so that you can have a successful life."..
He then placed a piece of paper on her hand and said
" I have written some words of wisdom and bible verses for you. Read them before you go to sleep."
And then he walked away.
The girl went back to her hostel in shame and before she slept she opened up the paper and read thus: "Are you blind? My wife was standing behind me. Any way, this is my number.
Call me anytime. ..... By the way, I like you too!"
Men ehn !!!!!!!!!!!!
Have a great day

If I get Money Ehn!!
I will just Buy Nollywood and then i will Close it...
How can sombody Die with Dreadlocks and the spirit
will appear with Low-cut.
Does it mean there is barbing saloon in the land of
the spirits

LAUGH OUT YOUR SORROW MY DEAR FRIENDS.
1. What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?_
*Stress is when your wife is pregnant;*
*Tension is when your girlfriend is pregnant;*
*Panic is when both are pregnant!*_😀😀😀
2. Grammar Teacher: Do you know the importance of a period?
*Kid: Yeah, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack and our driver ran away!*😀😀😀😀😀
3. A young boy asks his Dad: "What is the difference between confident and confidential?
*Dad says: "You are my son, I'm confident about that. Your friend over there, is also my son, that is confidential!*😀😀😀😀😀
4. A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman;
*“Which book has helped you most in your life?”*
*The woman replied , “My husband’s cheque book!”*😀😀😀😀😀
_5. A prospective husband in a book store: Do you have a book called, *Husband the Master of the House?*
*Sales Girl : “Sir, Fiction and Comics are on the 1st floor!"*😀😀😀😀😀
6. Someone asked an old man: “Even after 70 years, you still call your wife Darling, Honey, Love." What’s the secret?"
*Old man: I forgot her name and I’m scared to ask her!* 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀
7. Wife: I wish I was a newspaper. So I’d be in your hands all day.
*Husband: I too wish that you were a newspaper. So I could have a new one every day!*.

Kemi96:
My favourite....no. 3

You go fear confidential nah [color=#006600][/color]

Vlad: 😂😂😂😂😂😂

No. 7 👆

hmmmm, so u want to be changing it everyday.

I went to buy Recharge card from One Aboki who sells stuff on my street, when I got there he was arguing with another Aboki, suddenly he turned to me and said {oga abeg shebi na Toothpaste Marry Animal Calling}😨
I have never been so confused in my life I
kept asking him to repeat what he meant but he
kept saying the same thing I was frustrated, I
had to leave them to their argument as I couldn't be of help. But it kept bothering my mind, what could this guy mean??
After weeks of racking my brain to decipher the
meaning of his statement, Na this morning I
realize wetin the guy dey ask me.
What he was saying was {Oga abeg shebi na 2face Marry Annie Macaulay}😱😂😂😂😂

Vlad:

Hahaha...I was trying to decipher that too until I read the meaning 😂😂😂

Lol!

bossmo: I am about to loose a girl I love. we are about to take the relationship to the next level by getting married. We were advised to go for series of test which we did. Among the test is the blood genotype. We both discovered that we have the same genotype. AS! We have not told anybody yet. What should I (we) do? Is there any hope or remedy? Please help.

There is no remedy for that, they shouldn't get married for the sake of the children.

R u in lagos, plz b careful... I heard it ysday...it happened in a hotel at apapa, de world is becoming more scary o😱 😬😬.... A newly married man saw a copper dressed seductively... She was just too sexy to overlook.... He picked her up and abandoned the way home to a hotel..... . He lodged in with her and in less than 5 mins he was on top of her.... De copper was as flexible as a snake.... Her Moanings sounded like a hissing snake.... De man was so carried away with her moves and didn't really gv hz concern to it.... De married man had s*x with her over and over again😋 and even paid her more than de bargained.... Buh tld her to stay with him tonight
He woke up an hour later aving the Intentions of having another round with her buh he didn't find her on the bed😨...... He heard hissing sounds in the bathroom.....he opened the door his heart drummed heavily as he saw two big pythons talking to each oda he screamed 😨😨. . . . .de pythons leaped on him.... He ran to de door and found it locked .... De pythons crawled to him ready to strike.... He shouted..... He finally felt something cold and cycler with scales trying to swallow him.... . He struggled buh DE pythons have already pined him down... Hz head nd Chest was already inside the mouth . . .de snakes poisonous saliva has covered hz face.... He tried to shout buh he couldn't.... He kicked de snake buh DE snake was too strong... Den he had to bite the snakes tongue n den tickled d snake n d snake started laughing... De snake got wounded nd involuntary vomited him
*de only problem is I don't know hw to end dz fake yeye story dah u guys av been reading since
Amebo u too like story,as usual...I de my house incase u want to beat me

You see your life?
That's why u ask women to stay off because u want bring bad market to them.
Anyway u try but u see as I dey look u
Let me come and be going

Story based on true life experience.
2nd February 2012
Scene 1 begins with Val’s side of the
story’’’’’’’
Driving down the lonely hills of Nsukka
after a very extensive research work for
my new book, I was very tired and a bit
restless as I planned my schedules for
the weekend without concentrating
much on my driving. Walking down
absentmindedly on the middle of the
same road was this young girl with an
empty tray on her head. I never saw her
on time and almost knocked her down
if not for my powerful brakes which
screeched the car to stop just hairs
breathe away from her. Out of shock,
the tray on the young lady’s head fell
and rolled over to the gutter while I
rushed out of the car to see if she was
alright. She turned to look at me that
moment and it was as if the world came
to a stop as our eyes met.
Before me was the most beautiful girl I
have ever seen. She wore no makeup,
she was sweating, her clothes were far
from elegant but yet her beauty
overshadowed it all. It was as if I was
standing before the Nigerian version of
Cinderella.
‘’I’m sorry I wasn’t paying much
attention but you were equally walking
in the middle of the road. Hope you are
okay?’’ I nervously asked as I headed to
the gutter to pick up her tray. She
nodded with eyes filled with tears,
quickly collected the tray for me and
drew backwards.
‘’I’m sorry for almost putting you in
trouble. Forgive me’’ she breathed
fluently, surprising me with her English.
But before I could say anything further
she was already walking down the
road.
‘’my name is valentine, can I, can I drop
you where ever you are going?’’ I
stammered. I couldn’t even believe
myself. It was my first time of offering a
lift to a stranger. But unfortunately she
gave me no reply, neither did she stop
for a second. Hesitantly I headed back to
my car and drove away, wondering if I
would ever see her again in my life.
——————————-
Isadora’s side of the story
One hundred, two hundred, three
hundred, I counted the money with me
for the umpteenth time. It was money I
made from the sales of Udara (African
apple) I sold at the Afor market close by.
I was very lucky to sell the apples on
time and was rushing home to prepare
lunch for my adoptive family who
derived pleasure in abusing me, in
finding faults in everything I did.
I wasn’t brought up with happiness like
other village girls. I was brought up
with daily abuses, stigmatization and
curses. I was told that I was an evil child
that brought misfortunes to my
biological parent’s right from when my
mother was carrying me in her womb. I
was equally told that six months after I
was born, my parents burnt to death in
their house with every single property
in it and I was found untouched by the
fire, laughing hysterically on my baby
bed. It was a story I was told a hundred
times over and I really had no way of
verifying the authenticity.
Yes my head was filled with my
childhood memories that I never knew
when I started walking in the middle of
the road only to get myself when the
noise from a screeching tire brought
me back to reality.
I soon found myself facing a very
handsome gentleman who never
scolded me for being in the middle of
the road, for almost putting him in
trouble. Instead he asked if I was
alright. My heart, my soul, my entire
body just quivered before him. At first I
thought I shivered out of fear but then
inside of me I felt something I had
never felt before and had to walk away
to avoid disgracing myself further.
Valentine was the name he called to me
and It kept ringing back in my head
over and over. Deep down I felt like
chatting endlessly with him, sharing my
problems with him but all I could do
was to walk away without looking back.
I soon saw his car speed away and I
couldn’t help but wonder if I was ever
going to see him again.
———————————————–
On getting home I ran into my mother
who instead of welcoming me back
happily for making a quick sale, began
scolding me for not sweeping the
compound and fetching water before
heading to the market, forgetting she
was the one that asked me to abandon
everything and head to the market to
sell her Udara fruit.
I tried to remind her but it only landed
me three dirty slaps on my cheek. I was
hungry, angry and tired of life. I was
nineteen and saw no future before me.
I knew all my adoptive parents were
planning was to marry me off to the
highest bidder. Yes by God’s grace I
already managed to finish my secondary
school with the help of church
scholarship but that was the end. Since
then my parents had virtually refused
allowing me to go learn a trade or even
do something that would help me in
future and I couldn’t help but realize
that the more I stayed with them the
more I was ruining my life. i made up
my mind that very day to leave the
house, to run away, to run to my future.
A very daring decision, a very risky
adventure. I had no money with me, no
destination in mind, only God and fear
in my heart.
I sneaked out of the house later that
night and stepped into the unknown.